Hi before I start a little info, I wrote this piece for the website www.gracedpassages.com . Do check the site for some real good stuff to read.
Father and son, it is one of the most underrated relations ever. It does not boast that protectiveness that a dad-daughter relation does, or the intimacy a mother-son relation does, or the understanding that mother-daughter relation has. A major share of this relation is expressed passively. Here actions speak and express rather than words. It is bond made of scolding, teaching, learning, guiding and at rare times speaking your heart out.
When a boy is young, his father is his first teacher. He teaches him everything he knows and works hard to make him a man worthy enough to be on his own in this world. He is there for his boy as a support, teaching him to fight for his territory, to be strong and confident. He keeps his distance and lets the boy live in illusion that whenver he stood victorious it was on his own. Little he knows that his father stood behind him like a shadow supporting in ways he can never imagine.
As the young boy grows into a man, the relation becomes more of a tug-of-war, a war of alphas. The care becomes more passive and indirect. It’s not that this relation lacks emotion; they are very well there but are not that freely or verbally expressed, like mothers do. The scold after doing wrong is father’s way of saying that he is worried for you. His single “take care” has a thousand “I love you, son” hidden in them. Even though at one point he himself was a boy but little did he remember that for a boy father is irreplaceable, he lives his life with every moment having same goal in mind, to make his father proud and to give him back the same love he received from him.
And that is where the beauty of this relation lies, generations handing down love and care so delicately and passively so that the world never knows, and sometimes even the receiver doesn’t.
Today when you look back and imagine about the relation you had with your father, you might not feel anything has changed. But when we cummulatively look into it, we would certainly feel that nothing could have been so much simple had he not been by your side.