Daughter of the rock

There is a person I know, who is aptly named ‘daughter of  the rock’. She is a storm in her own sense. A storm so calm yet so furious, it puzzles me. I don’t exactly remember the date, of the day I first met her, but I know her for long and have been in close quarters with her. She makes me so damn confused as to what keeps her happy and what is it she needs? She is so divided and extreme that it has me wondering that she must be suffering from split personality, which she doesn’t have. The only thing which remains constant in her life is ‘care’. She cares a lot, mostly for others and at times for herself. The caring attitude is what made her a doormat for others,  she never got to be the hero of her own story, all she was, was just a supporting actress. Sometimes it was her choice and sometimes it was circumstance, but her fate never let her be in the limelight. But, she being the lion-heart she was always, made her own limelight to be in. She was her own sympathiser, empathiser, her own PR team and her own knight in shining armour. The ones who were just acquaintance to her saw her no less than what she wanted her to be seen as, but the ones really close to her saw her as a selfish person. They saw her as a person full of herself. A person who is just doing everything for something in return. She was too expectant of things from other, yearning fruitlessly to get the same amount  in return that she gave.  What everyone failed to see is this is what she needed. Her self esteem had to take a measure that desperate so that she could survive all the trampling she goes through on a daily basis. After all, a lamp needs fuel to spread light amidst the darkness. She has love for all, a love so giving, not all are either worthy of it or are able to handle it. She knows no bounds when it comes to do something for the person she loves. She rose out of the spiralling vortex she was stuck in, she forced and pushed and got up from what was imminent oblivion and stood there, for that wee soul needing its love so bad. It was to say that destiny was meant to be. Her love is serene and pious. The only fault her love had was that it was a blanket too big. No doubt it gave that warmth and protection, but sometimes it felt like a trap and smothered the person too much. The love was at times a pain to both her and the lover, for she did not get the fact that a person is like sand in a fist, the harder you try to grab on, the faster it escapes. She could not let go easy of a person, for she identified herself with that person. Call it fear of her own loss of identity, but she just refuses to let go. She is a complex person, a bit too much. One peculiarity that proved this point is, she never shares. I know, sounds weird right. For a person quoted as ‘giving’ before, she doesn’t share. Her concept being, if someone needs something, she will give that person everything she can in her power, but not from her own share. That is the reason, even though she is a whiz at house parties, she always prefers to eat alone, out of everyone’s sight. She likes to keep her things to herself, and that extends to everything she feels possessive of. She keeps everyone in mind, when it comes to planning for anything. She knows the pain of being left out, thus ensures that no one feels the same. It is a concept not well appreciated in times of today, but she cares less of what people say. She knows she is right because this is what she was born with. She knows a world that exists as black and white, and likes to treat it that way. The world today, so gray, is what drove her to the edge of madness. After being thrashed black and blue from this era of stone cold emotions, she still keeps her fire burning. She is defiant of the fact that people just don’t care anymore, she still thinks that people need care, love and warmth. To others she may seem like a fool, a fake or a hard to handle person, but to me, all she seems like, is a mirror. She is a mirror I shy away from, but still am proud of what I see.

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5 thoughts on “Daughter of the rock

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  1. This phrase ‘doormat to others’, I don’t know in what sense you’ve used it, but I take it in a sense that everybody rubs off their negatives, fears, bad and weakness off their feet with the help of the girl and move forward in their lives leaving all the dirt to her. I could think this way ‘coz it actually happens in life. I’d like to know your perception of the phrase.

    And on whole, thank you for writing this. It totally fits me in the role of ‘Daughter of the rock’. It’s so nice to find a piece of writing that reflects me in it.

    The ending… ‘Mirror’ concept.. That gave the blues slightly.

    Awesome this is!

    Like

    1. Well yeah, basically doormat feeling is like when you are being used off by other, relentlessly and thanklessly. They do not acknowledge your presence. It also includes what you mean too. I really appreciate you reading it, and makes me feel both good and bad that somehow you feel connected to her

      Like

  2. C a real rock hoo cud nt b swept away even by the era so called driven by core self motives…. c being doormat wud hv cleaned unhygienic approaches of so many with a hope that c hs curedat least few ….but c did not know they ssuffered fro incurables and her effort ….a sheer waste…

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