Hail Hotness

The World is a mess! No two ways about it. It’s like everyone took that bloke too seriously who said that “Entropy of the universe is increasing”. Y’all need to chill, hell I need to chill, let’s just all stay “Ok” so that all our entropies just be zero. Okay No! Please don’t go! I swear I will restrain myself from making any more of those thermodynamics` puns. The basic need to get this boring subject involved here is cause today we are gonna do a nice little study of a interestingly “hot thing” the world has to provide. Time is evident that the world needs heat and explosions to get things all up and working. The big bang, the sun and steam engines are a few things that I quote to support my theory. Even the coldest of wars have firearms involved in them; firearms again being related to hot. Now there is no point of discussing all the scientific study of “hot objects” cause, frankly all that stuff goes over my head. I still wonder how I got the college I currently study in? The hot objects I want to talk about here are the unsung heroes, the ones who make the world a more eye-soothing place. This, my friend is a tribute to all the Hot people out there (fondly being referred as hotties here). Now before all of the people flog me for being a ‘sheer materialistic’ person who has none whatsoever concern towards inner beauty, can you just for once, not bash a person for just liking another person based solely on physical features. Why does one discredit beauty so much? It’s high time we realise that not all things are meant to be nice, and that is what makes us appreciate that beauty of anything more, be it inner or outer. So keep that thing in your mind, and carry forward, and if still we are not on the same page, then do share your views in the comments.

Hotness comes in every shape, size and gender and is present all around us. This tribute is to all the “unsung hotties” out there, rather than the celebrated ones. There are many mega-stars, supermodels and celebrities who are drop-dead gorgeous. They don’t need much appreciation here as they already get a lot (apparently haters too, whom they tolerate like real champions). The real heroes of hotness are the ones, we see (or desire to) daily, like that cute girl in your class, or that totally smoking senior in your society. They are either some regularly seen people, or some who are more like ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’, like that totally captivating beauty you might see in the mall, or that unnaturally cute but sexy delivery boy, who just came to deliver food but took your breath away. Keeping the things a bit more organised, Let us now classify all the hotness out there based on various categories-

A. Based on their occurrence, we have-

• Regular Hotties- The ones whom we see daily or on a regular basis. Example teachers, classmates, your daily commuter etc.

• Rare Hotties- These are the ones, who are seen not commonly, but when spotted are the cause of a lot of swoons and hustle.

• Big Bang Hotties- These are the real gems, the one major thing they have in common with big bang is that they both happen once, and the impact they leave on our life is just WOW!! They make you lose your cool, shit, calm and heart all at once. The worst part of meeting one is that you won’t be ever seeing them again and that makes you all sad and weepy, making you wonder what great have you done to be the spectator of that personified utopia.


B. Based on the stimulus they create in us, we have-

• Inspiration hottie- These are the ones who inspires you, in some way or the other, but mostly physically. Like that hot girl in the lab group, who inspires you to come to lab every single time.

• Envy- inducers- Not always all hotties have a positive effect on you. This class of hotties make you more agitated, jealous of them and often cause an unreasonable hatred towards them. The possible root cause might be that, they have it more easy in life (which is not true in hindsight). Your friends seem to think of you as cuckoo cause of the hatred you have towards them, even though you have never even exchanged a single “Hi” with them; and that again makes you a whole lot more enraged. It just is a vicious circle from there!

• Reality Checkers- This is more like a property of hot people rather than a category, but still, not all hot people have that much capability to make it apparent. By definition, they are the ones who make you realise that you basically are a ‘potato’, which to me perfectly fine. After all since when is being the most loved vegetable in the whole wide world offensive to anyone. The only bad thing about being a potato is that you are just a filler, a side-guy, someone who has no flavour of their own, and these hotties are the “masala”, full of flavour and life, but they too are nothing if no potatoes will be there.


C. Based on the public or target audience, and hottie’s mindset, we have-

• Regulation hottie- These are the ones, who check all the boxes on the hottie checklist, but surprisingly are oblivious to the power vested in them. They often wonder why they are flooded with such copious amounts of attention. The indicator of one being in this category is the fact they always deny that they are a “hottie”, no matter how much one tells them

• ‘Owning it’ hottie- These are the people who know ever since their birth that they are meant to be the elixir for the eyes of commoners. They know the powers vested in them and also know very well how to use them. The latter statement not always being in the most positive of the sense, but who care right now, they are doing their part of job, let them do it.

• Pseudo hottie- These people are considered hottie only in one place, that being in their own heads. They are the ones who try too hard to be something they are not, and neither meant to be. The only cure to them is a reality check!

• Specific hottie- They are somewhat similar to those exotic foods, liked by some, disliked by some, and others just don’t know what to say. They are an acquired taste, hence, they might be just the perfection someone needs, but they hardly are someone who makes a crowd go wild.


That was pretty much all the classification you need. Now why is some random physical infatuation or a extremely hot person so necessary in our ‘oh so meaningful’ lives. The answer being that hot people serve as a major source of motivation to go through the drag times. I mean, I could never imagine passing my whole college without a little ‘eye candy’. They are the ones who provide us the perfect illusion of a perfect Adulthood, which actually is the reason why we keep going through the mess that follows after childhood. All those wonderful hot people, just being themselves and gracing our lives by those little conversations and those sweet gives and takes (which basically just involve us giving) make a great topic of bonding. It is a guilty pleasure talking about such people with your friends, discussing all the fun little gossips and if being extremely lucky, getting struck in a hook-up rumour with them. These “Hotties” inspire us to be a little more conscious about our health, habits, appearance and presence, whether it is for competing against them, being in their good books or their bed! There are a whole lot more reasons I can think of, but why waste my and you time, which can be used effectively to just daydream about some elusive enchantress. So let me just cut short my train of thoughts right here. Finally, the only thing I can say at last is a big thank you to all the hot people out there, just being you and making this world a more eye-soothing, heart-racing, daydreaming, fitness-inspiring, fantasizing and beautiful place.

PS. I do not own the image used above, I grabbed it off the net, cause I can’t use a picture of someone hot I know, cause I don’t wanna be in hot waters with someone’s boyfriend or Girlfriend.


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